3 Daily Rituals That Keep Me Calm

Plus easy ways to get started with each one

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Routines can be calming when they’re not overdone.

An arm’s length list of daily must-do rituals, however, can send you into a stressful spin. It’s just too much, isn’t it?

I’ve comfortably settled into three daily routines that add calm to my life. Three is the right number for me.

They’re not unusual or unique. I don’t skydive off my roof every morning.

But once you know why they work for me, you might be tempted to experiment with the tried and true—even if these practices have failed you in the past.

If my style of ritual feels like too much. That’s okay. I have some easier options for you.

Ready?

Journaling

I’ve journaled off and on my entire life. When I moved to Hawaii a decade ago, I threw away an entire box of journals. Blasphemous, I know! I was in a “be here now” phase.

Nevertheless, journaling remained a part of my life. And last year, I achieved the unexpected goal of journaling almost every single day.

I attempted daily journaling the previous year but ended up inconsistent. However, something clicked for me last year.

I used a page-a-day format. I didn’t fill an entire page every day, but the structure encouraged me to be consistent.

Here are three ways that regular journaling keeps me calm.

• It requires a quiet gap in my day when I pay attention to my inner world. The entire day may have been hectic. But now I have ten or fifteen minutes to myself, which naturally inspires calm.

• It gives me a space where I can examine my emotional and mental responses. That helps me unwind self-defeating behaviors.

• It helps me celebrate my accomplishments, signs of personal growth, and progress in self-care. That makes me smile and brings a sense of inner contentment.

Journaling calms and grounds me. But I’m not an anomaly. According to research on the mental health benefits of journaling, the practice can calm anxiety, reduce obsessive thinking, and regulate emotions. What a win!

I no longer use a page-a-day format. I journal in an A5 grid notebook with fountain pen-friendly paper. Using different colors of fountain pen ink adds to my joy.

I sometimes fill half a page, other times a full page, and on occasion, I’ve reached almost two.

Easy Ways to Journal

If that sounds like too much for you, try out one of these easy ways to journal.

• Journal one line per day. You can use an official one-line per day journal or just scribble your one line in any notebook.

• Write in a five-year journal. A five-year journal allows for one or two lines per day. The same day for each year is listed on one page. You can easily see what happened on the same day last year or the year before.

• Use a small journal. If an A-5 journal feels like too much for you, use a smaller size. I’ve seen people happily journal in the smaller A6-size and even a pocket-size notebook.

Journaling doesn’t need to be an overwhelming proposition that stresses you out. On the contrary, it can be a calming and centering activity.

It can be as simple as journaling one line a day.

“What a comfort is this journal. I tell myself to myself and throw the burden on my book and feel relieved.”—Anne Lister

Mindfulness Meditation

I meditate every day for 20–60 minutes and have done so for years.

The real purpose of meditation isn’t a static state of peace. But calm is one of the best side effects of the practice.

• I naturally feel spacious when I meditate. There’s more space between me and my thoughts and emotions. I don’t get hooked by every thought that passes through my mind or every emotion that arises in my heart.

• When I experience a stressful event, I can meditate and watch the tension melt away in a matter of minutes.

• I feel more equanimity in daily life because meditation has lowered my reactivity threshold.

You won’t see these kinds of results on your first day of meditation. Learning to meditate takes time. Remembering to relax in meditation can take a while.

But many new meditators start to see positive results in a few weeks and more benefits unfold as the months go by.

To learn the practice, I suggest taking an in-depth bonafide mindfulness course like the ones offered by:

• UMass Memorial Health Center for Mindfulness or the UCLA Mindfulness Research Center

• A Buddhist Center in your city. Styles vary from Zen to Korean to Tibetan Buddhist

• A 10-day Vipassana Retreat is another way to learn mindfulness if you like to dive into the deep end.

These are not sponsored links. They’re just programs I’ve come to know and appreciate for their effectiveness.

Easy Options for Mindfulness Meditation

If you can’t manage an in-depth course, an easy way to start meditation is through the use of a mindfulness app like the popular Insight Timer or Headspace.

Insight Time is free and offers an upgrade to Member Plus. Headspace offers a free trial and then charges monthly.

As a former mindfulness teacher, I don’t recommend the use of an app and its guided meditations on a long-term basis. Ultimately, mindfulness should be between you and your mind without a third party present.

But apps can be a great way to start mindfulness meditation.

“Sitting in meditation is nourishment for your spirit and nourishment for your body, as well.”—Thich Nhat Hanh

List-Making

When I was younger, I touted my memory as perfect. I was only fooling myself. In reality, I favored perpetual motion and didn’t have the patience to sit down to make a list. My life felt chaotic as a result.

In contrast, my co-worker Paula has a neat desk and a tidy pile of current file folders organized by color codes. I envied her.

I haven’t become obsessive like Paula. But, I use lists regularly to prevent stress and nurture calm.

• I write a daily to-do list in my planner, where I keep all my appointments and notes I take on the go as well

• I keep a pad next to the stove on which I jot down needed groceries as soon as they pop into my mind.

• Before an important call, I make a list of key points.

• Before a trip to town, I make a list of where I’ll go and what I’ll get at each destination.

• Before a doctor’s important, I write down my questions and what I want to convey to my physician.

Lists keep me calm. I don’t waste time or money making double trips for items that slipped my mind. I don’t finish a call or leave an appointment frustrated because I forget to convey my most important message.

If you’re a flow person, maybe you don’t need or want lists. But if your life feels chaotic, like mine did, maybe you would benefit, too.

Easier Lists

I keep most of my lists in my planner which has yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily pages.

If that feels like too much for you, here are some easy ways to employ lists:

• Keep a small notepad in every room of the house. Jot things down as they come to mind. Collect them once a day for review and action.

• List just your top three priorities for the day instead of an endless and overwhelming to do list.

• Use a virtual voice assistant like Alexa that will respond to your questions and commands. You can tell it to wake you up at a specific time, set a timer, or remind you of an appointment that day.

List-making has transformed my life from chaos to calm.

“The challenge is not to manage time, but to manage ourselves.”—Stephen Covey

Concluding Thoughts

When I was younger, I wore stress as a status symbol. I thought it was cool to overwork and attempt to outperform everyone else.

After decades of a high-stress lifestyle, I burned out. In my case, chronic stress led to a chronic illness. I’ve never fully recovered.

Now, I know the human body isn’t designed to withstand constant stress. So, I prioritize daily rituals that keep me calm.

If your life feels overwhelming, I hope reading this will plant a seed. Because you deserve time for daily rituals that nourish your spirit and calm your nervous system. Don’t you?

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