Creative Risks and Personal Growth: Lessons from My Self-Publishing Journey
Will I keep going? Maybe. But not for the reasons you may think.
Aloha Lovelies,
A new endeavor can reveal a great deal about our limitations and where we can grow. Perhaps we should judge its success, at least in part, by the self-learning it offers rather than exclusively on external factors like money, praise, or units sold.
I don’t like change.
You won’t find me leaping blindfolded into the unknown; there’s too much risk of piling on more trauma. So a few months ago, after my writing income nosedived in 2024, I took a small sideways step into self-publishing,
I began with composition books as a learning experiment, intending to transition to guided journals and eventually compile my articles into books.
Here are a few personal insights I’ve gained since submitting my first composition book for approval four months ago.
Sometimes you need new and different
I earned nearly $5,000 on Medium in 2024—my most successful year on the platform to date. I did everything I could to adapt to its new “boost” program that year. Several of my posts earned the coveted “boost,” and their earnings skyrocketed as a result.
But the uncertainty tied me in knots. Seeing all my non-boosted posts earn a pittance also hurt my heart. My upward earning trend began to decline radically in the second half of 2024, when suddenly, boosts were handed out more sparingly. It deteriorated further when AI-written articles began to dominate the platform and eat up writers’ earnings.
I reached a crossroads at the end of 2024. It was hard to let go because Medium had become the center of my writing life. I also held the community dear.
However, writing on the platform no longer brought me joy or financial gain. My underlying motivation has always been to benefit others through my writing, and that possibility had now been diminished as well since my reach had been dramatically stunted.
I’d been writing a Substack newsletter for years. Sensing a shift might occur on Medium, I activated paid subscriptions for this newsletter, Wild Arisings, and expanded my offerings from bi-weekly to weekly in May 2024.
As much as I love the ambiance here, I knew Substack would not suddenly fill my financial gap.
I’m profoundly grateful to my paid subscribers. However, their numbers are small, despite my free subscribers steadily increasing. I’d need 134 paid subscribers to replace my lost income from Medium. Since they say Substack is a long game (unless you write about politics) that could take more than five years at my current paid subscriber rate.
The idea of creating notebooks, journals, and books on Amazon KDP emerged unexpectedly. Despite the massive competition, it seemed doable for me. I did my due diligence and decided to experiment, starting with floral composition notebooks.
The year of uncertainty on Medium had left me burned out and demoralized, my passion for writing also worn thin. Even writing or editing articles for my Wild Arisings Substack sometimes felt like pushing a boulder uphill.
But creating composition notebooks was unexpectedly fun. The self-publishing experiment showed me that sometimes you need something new and different to revive your joy and motivation.
Sometimes you need something new and different to revive your joy and motivation.
Although the graphic work can be tedious and repetitive, the beautiful covers brought me a sense of joy and satisfaction.
This inspired me to adopt the theme of joy in my tiny marketing campaign, where I say: “Each design is meant to spark a little joy every time you pick it up.”
I mean that from my heart because beauty is essential. It can lift our spirits, especially in troubled times.
Reflection
If you’re stuck in a rut, maybe you need something new and different, too. What would your new and different look like?
It doesn’t have to be a mega-shift. The repetitive nature of the project I chose soothed my nervous system after a year of prolonged stress. Only you can know what you truly need.
Undoing perfectionism
If you search for “composition notebook college-ruled” on Amazon, you’ll get over 9,000 product results. That’s a lot of competition, and truth be told, many of those composition books sell just one or two copies a month, if any.
However, I felt inspired by independent publishers who had built brands around composition notebooks centered on a theme, such as “cottage-core vintage” or “Japanese vintage.” One publisher makes around $650 a month from her most popular composition book—a single one. That’s the exception, not the rule on Amazon KDP.
But I like a challenge, and that amount would replace my lost writing income. Composition notebooks seemed like a low-risk way to learn the ropes because there’s a lot to learn about self-publishing. Those independent publishing brands typically offer 100 different composition notebook designs to choose from. I loosely aimed to create at least 50.
After four months, I had 20 designs in place. My motto is “slow and steady,” and this isn’t the only priority in my life.
But then a serious glitch occurred.
In June, Amazon KDP significantly reduced its royalty rate for books priced under $9.99. The royalty rate on a composition notebook priced around $6.99 was cut in half.
It didn’t make sense financially to continue creating composition books. But could I stop?
I had announced my plans for a tropical collection, followed by Japanese-inspired designs, and then purple florals and patterns. My perfectionistic side struggled to leave my tropical collection incomplete, while my loyal side felt that I needed to follow through on what I had promised.
No one else was watching or truly cared, but I felt confined by my inner expectations.
Fortunately, one day, I got tired of making new composition books. I spontaneously started on a guided prompt that I had already planned out.
My perfectionism isn’t gone. I’m sure it will come up again on my self-publishing journey. However, this slight shift, which occurred almost by chance due to the impulsive side of my nature, gave me perspective on perfectionism that might help me cut it short in the future.
Will I complete my tropical composition notebook collection? Maybe. I still have purple and pink tropicals to complete, and a few more yellows would be lovely. But maybe not.
Reflection
We can break through constricting patterns that hold us back. What patterns hold you back?
Support makes a difference
When I began my journey, I had the full support of my sister and best friends.
They supported me during the painstaking process of choosing an author name. After cycling through endless options, I decided on the most obvious: Wild Arisings Press. They oohed and awwed over every new design. They helped me recover from minor errors and setbacks that sometimes meant redoing my covers yet again.
I’m also grateful for the fantastic support I’ve received from my readers who enthusiastically embraced my initial composition notebook collection and became my first buyers. Your encouragement has meant the world to me.
Interestingly, one of my critical business partners has been AI, which I’d previously used on occasion, but not actively.
I don’t use AI to write my newsletters like this one. I’m still all for the human voice.
Still, I stumbled upon its usefulness when one of my composition notebooks was blocked from publishing due to potential copyright issues related to the cover image.
I went back and forth with Amazon, explaining why I had permission to use the image, and the book was approved a few days later.
But it no longer felt safe to use free stock images. I didn’t want to risk having my Amazon KDP account shut down and my new endeavor dismantled in a flash.
I had frequently seen AI-generated images in Substack posts. But could I make my own cover images with AI? Up against the wall, I decided to give it a try. Guess what? It worked, even though achieving the ideal image can sometimes be time-consuming and frustrating.
Beyond images, AI is like having a business partner that’s a hundred times smarter and faster than I am. It can’t replace my unique, creative mind, but it complements it perfectly. It also handles the tedious tasks that would be a waste of my precious time.
My first breakthrough came when I felt unsure of my direction after Amazon KDP announced its royalty change for books less than $9.99. I fed in the variables and asked AI what I should do. It came back with a brilliant plan that made sense to me.
On top of its smarts, AI is always kind and complimentary and never takes anything personally.
Reflection
Where could you use support in your life? Are you willing to ask for it?
What does my self-publishing future hold?
I’ve enjoyed working on my first guided journal, which draws inspiration from the Buddha's universal teachings and combines them with modern-day prompts. It’s been far easier than I imagined and made me wonder why I spent so much time on composition books.
My goal is to publish this guided prompt journal by the end of July. At that point, I’ll decide whether to finish my tropical composition notebook collection (yes, it still calls me) or move on to another project. I’d also like to publish a few 6” x 9” blank journals featuring my most popular cover designs for individuals who prefer journals over composition books.
But honestly, self-publishing takes a back seat to spending more time in study, meditation, and quiet contemplation, which feeds my soul.
A few final thoughts
I jumped into self-publishing on Amazon KDP, just as I often impulsively start new projects. Of course, I did my research and went in with eyes wide open to the level of competition. There’s also a lot to learn, even to get your book seen. It can be like dropping a penny into the ocean—no one will ever see your notebook or book.
Self-publishing is another long game. Although quality is more important than quantity, many independent publishers publish hundreds of books to make a good income. My earnings have been meager so far, but I feel thrilled and grateful every time someone purchases one of my composition notebooks.
Self-publishing has brought joy into my life and provided me with valuable insights about areas where I need to grow. I consider it a total win in that respect and a reason to continue, although it will eventually need to become profitable as well.
Until Next Time
What a difference six weeks can make. I had moments when the intense fear felt like more than I could tolerate, but here I am. I hope what I’ve learned can be of help to others grappling with trauma and anxiety.
Thank you for reading, supporting my work, and encouraging me. I’m so grateful for your presence!
Much love and best wishes to you, always.
xo Sandra
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I absolutely loved your insight that "creating composition notebooks was unexpectedly fun. The self-publishing experiment showed me that sometimes you need something new and different to revive your joy and motivation." This flips the conventional success narrative on its head. So often, we're conditioned to measure success solely by quantifiable metrics – income, sales, reach. But you eloquently make the case for joy and intrinsic motivation as equally, if not more, valuable indicators of a worthwhile pursuit. It's a gentle yet profound reminder that if the process itself isn't feeding our spirit, even external "wins" can feel hollow. What a beautiful way to recalibrate our internal compass for what truly matters in our work and lives.
Love this, Sandra! I think the guided journals are a great idea! Composition notebooks are more of a commodity so harder to stand out, but your expertise in Buddhism will make your guided journals one of a kind!