How to Stay Calm in the Chaos Ahead
3 strategies that have helped me survive natural disasters, traumas, and political upheavals.
Aloha Lovelies,
I remember the cognitive dissonance I felt when I looked out at my remarkable view of paradise on a sunny day in 2018, knowing that a molten river of lava could turn and head in my direction at any moment.
That’s how I felt last week: as if disaster was nearing my doorstep again.
I wondered:
Will my social security suddenly disappear?
Will the dollar be toppled in favor of cryptocurrency, destroying my retirement savings?
Will I be able to replace the income I’ve lost due to the recent radical downturn on Medium?
Along with my self-focused worries, I also felt concern for those who will be persecuted mercilessly.
You probably also have worries, and they are not unfounded. But I won’t wear rose-colored glasses and tell you everything will be okay.
Suffering may be ahead. Desperate people sometimes do desperate things. To lighten your worries, please remember that you can’t control anyone else, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t determine every outcome.
But you can stay in integrity and do your best to remain calm for your own sake and the welfare of others.
That massive river of lava eventually arrived. The force of its heat burned my home to the ground along with my furnishings moments before the lava buried my property.
I’ve survived more than one disaster and multiple traumas. Those experiences have taught me to adopt attitudes and actions that have helped me stay relatively calm in the chaos. I want to share these with you today.
That doesn’t mean my body never floods with fight-or-flight chemicals due to fear, worry, or anger. I’m only human, and you are too. We shouldn’t expect to remain perfectly calm amid chaos, but we can strive for more untroubled moments.
Choosing Simplicity
I arrived in Hawaii with four suitcases, one filled with books. Since that day, a decade ago, I’ve accumulated far more, but I’ve learned to keep my life simple.
When I evacuated in 2018, I took two suitcases, two cats, bedding, and a few precious items. Aside from a few household supplies, the gigantic cat carriers left little space in my car for more. My precious items included my laptop, journal, and mala (Buddhist rosary).
Rentals had suddenly become scarce, but I luckily found lodging on a 15-acre farm up a one-lane road a hundred miles away. I settled in, satisfied to live with few possessions.
Since then, I have acquired a new home and re-accumulated more worldly goods, but I’ve learned not to be attached to material things. I always identify belongings I no longer need and pass them on to friends or a charity store.
Less attachment means I can adapt more quickly to change. I might feel momentary disappointment if something I own is damaged or destroyed, but I won’t be devastated for months or years.
Mindfulness meditation has taught me to find joy within rather than pin my happiness on external objects.
“Over the course of an average lifetime, because of all the clutter we live in, we will spend 3,680 hours, or 153 days, searching for misplaced items.”— Joshua Becker, Becoming Minimalist
Feeling Your Feelings
That doesn’t mean you should be stoical about chaos, crisis, or tragedy. Feel your feelings, but try not to let them carry you away for extended periods.
I still recall the moment I realized lava had crept onto my land. I thought I had accepted impermanence but suddenly felt gripped by terror. The hope hiding in my heart was destroyed in a searing flash.
I felt the terror and let it pass. I didn’t make it bigger than it had to be by adding worried thoughts and more desperate feelings.
You can learn this skill in mindfulness meditation. The more you quietly observe thoughts and feelings, the more you see their transitory nature. If you don’t attach to them, they dissolve on their own.
Suffering exists, but we don’t need to exacerbate it with extra thoughts. Feel your feelings, but don’t get stuck in them.
“Feelings come and go like clouds in a windy sky. Conscious breathing is my anchor.”―Thich Nhat Hanh
Helping Others
Helping others can take our minds off our troubles, restore our calm, and reconnect us with our power.
A white paper titled The Science of Generosity by the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, highlights research showing that generosity leads to greater happiness, improved health metrics, and increased life satisfaction.
There are countless ways to help others. You could:
Volunteer your time at local charities, shelters, or community projects.
Help a neighbor by babysitting, running an errand, or assisting with a chore.
Donate to an organization supporting immigrants, advocating for women’s rights, or educating about climate change.
Let’s keep our hearts open and stay connected to each other. Our strength lies in our togetherness.
“We cannot preserve self without being concerned about
preserving other selves.”—Dr. Martin Luther King
I have my worries. Who doesn’t? But I won’t let them overwhelm me and steal my calm.
How do you stay calm in chaotic times? Please share your worries and strategies in the comments, and let’s support one another.
Introducing The Wayward Mystic
Based on your recent poll votes, I’ve titled my new and spiritual Substack, The Wayward Mystic.
On The Wayward Mystic, I’ll share weekly insights, essays, and practices to help you cultivate a calm and clear mind. Although I write through a Buddhist lens, my articles often resonate across traditions, and mindfulness can benefit anyone.
You can expect regular articles on mindfulness meditation and compassion practices, explorations of no-self and emptiness, and inquiries into sensitive subjects like faith and devotion, abusive teachers, spiritual by-passing, and the use of psychoactive substances.
The Wayward Mystic will premiere on February 9th. If you’re interested in spirituality, you can subscribe now so you don’t miss the first post.
I would love to see you there!
Until Next Time
My inner voice has been telling me to go slowly and systematically. I think that’s wise advice for these times when it may feel like we’re in the eye of a hurricane.
As always, I want you to know how much I value your presence and how grateful I am to have readers who care deeply.
Much love and best wishes to you, always.
xo Sandra
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Excellent advice as always, Sandra! You are a wise woman.
Feeling my feelings has really helped me. I used to get consumed by the need to make sense of everything. Now, I’m learning to lean into the feeling instead. Reflection works best when you’re calm. But when you’re anxious, letting yourself experience the discomfort while reminding yourself that you’re safe in the moment helps you move through it.