How Gratitude Helps Me Calm Anxiety
I don't know if my method will work for you, but it's worth a try
Hello Lovelies,
My anxious reactions to everyday challenges exhaust me. I feel like I cannot contain the intensity. I do, but at a price.
This isn’t self-criticism but a mere statement of facts.
My brain has been primed to feel anxious in response to perceived threats. Its split-second reaction often feels impossible to control. Can I tolerate it anymore? I want a way out.
To my surprise, I’ve stumbled upon an antidote that has potential. Gratitude, I’ve found, puts my anxious reaction into perspective and thus calms it down.
Let me tell you how it works for me.
A few days ago, I parked at my acupuncturist’s home office. After I turned the engine off, I was surprised by an unusual pinging sound emanating from my left rear tire. I could smell burnt rubber and feel the heat radiating from the disc.
I worried it would burn the grass underneath and start a fire.
Having had only four hours of sleep, I immediately thought, “This can’t be happening to me today.”
I walked up the cinder driveway and then along the path to Michael’s office. As soon as I stepped over the threshold, I burst into tears.
My anxiety burst into bloom. I wondered if my car would blow up when I started the engine later.
Where do these anxious thoughts come from?
Michael reassured me. He was confident I could drive the car to a nearby town to have it checked.
Wisely, I decided to have my acupuncture treatment and deal with the car later. The effect of the needles calmed me, but anxious thoughts still sneaked in.
Suddenly, I’d find myself imagining the short drive to town. Would I make over the big highway? Would I have to pull off on the side of the road? Would the pinging start again?
I’d catch myself and tell the anxious invaders to leave me alone. I’d command myself to “Be here now.” We know how well that works when anxiety has a heyday.
At the end of the session, I felt a beautiful sense of euphoria. I knew it wouldn’t last, but I enjoyed the lightness while it did. I marched to my car, tucked myself into the driver’s seat, and pushed the start button.
I didn’t blow up!
I made it to the brand-name tire shop, a slow 8-minute drive. There was no pinging, no burnt rubber smell, and I didn’t start the town on fire. Relief.
When the lanky clerk looked at my tire, he said, “It looks fine.”
His declaration made me feel all the more anxious. What if they couldn’t find the problem? What would I do?
He told me I’d have to wait about an hour for my car to be checked, and that hour stretched to one and a half, ample time for an avalanche of more anxiety-ridden thoughts.
I didn’t distract myself with my phone, fearing I’d run out of battery. How would I contact Lyft or Uber if I needed a ride later? Since I had never used either service, I would also need to download the apps.
I wondered if I should buy a new car. Mine looks sleek and sexy (to me), but it’s ten years old, which likely means more repairs, not less.
My active mind planned for every eventuality.
Amid all the anxious and meandering thoughts, a different type arose. How does this happen? I don’t know.
I suddenly remembered my gigantic problem was truly minuscule compared to the suffering of others in this world.
My mind went to Gaza, where 2.2 million people do not have enough food to eat while other terrible travesties abound around them. I thought of the plight of the Ukrainian people, who have been under attack for far too long.
A famous quote from Theodore Roosevelt proclaims comparison as the thief of joy. But at that moment, I felt sure that the right comparisons could restore joy and not steal it from you.
I began to enumerate the blessings in my situation:
My car problem occurred close to town. I wasn’t stranded in the middle of nowhere on my own.
I had the reassurance and support of my acupuncturist.
I had savings to cover a repair. To my surprise and delight, a breakout article would pay for most of it—like the Universe knew I needed the extra dough.
The positives replaced the anxious thoughts. I felt nothing but gratitude.
Everyone faces everyday challenges like car breakdowns. My oversized emotional reactions are due to my overwrought thought process. Can I shift that around?
This isn’t the first time gratitude has rescued me from anxiety. It has also helped me calm fears at night when it took the form of compassion for others who suffered similarly.
The trick is to get it to kick in much earlier rather than an hour or two into an anxiety episode. I know it takes time to learn a new approach like this. I’m a work in progress, and that’s okay.
I have my antidote. Now, my challenge is to work with it again and again.
It’s not easy to calm anxiety. Otherwise, why is it on the rise globally? I don’t know if my method will work for you, but it might be worth a try.
My car needed new brake calipers, the part that squeezes the brake pad against the rotor to stop the vehicle. It’s an expensive repair.
But I didn’t complain. I felt immense gratitude that the repair shop fixed my car and sent me home in my silver chariot that night.
I would love to hear your thoughts. Does anxiety plague you at times? What helps you?
Until Next Time
Life has been too busy. I could sleep for a week. Maybe I will!
Thanks for reading. It means a lot to me!
Much love and best wishes to you.
xo Sandra
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It's amazing how our brains can hijack our thoughts and send them on a anxiety roller coaster ride. Even when we know and have the tools, what you described can and does happen. Conscious breathing helps, which most of us know and practice, but often forget in the moment. Gratitude does as well. Thanks for the reminder of how potent a practice it is.
Hello Sandra. Long time no see! I am enjoying exploring your Substack. I can't say I am usually anxious in the ways you describe. If ever I am I veer towards paralysis and periods of deliberately distracting myself. But what I wanted to say in response to your post is that I can see that what you write will be resonating with lots of people and I really hope it helps them navigate the challenges. I have only just started on Substack, so still learning how these things work.