Mindful Everyday: Simple Strategies for a Calmer Life

My daily routine for more mindfulness and less stress

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

I sometimes wonder if stress was encoded in my DNA from the moment of my conception.

Add in the scary man who stalked my neighborhood when I was a child and the landlord who caught me alone and pushed his lips onto mine, and you know why I ended up with a dysregulated nervous system prone to stress.

All my life, I’ve been startled by the tiniest noise and jumped sky-high when a butterfly moved through my peripheral vision.

However, my hair-trigger responses to regular and unusual occurrences began to soften once I learned mindfulness.

According to the American Psychological Association, multiple studies have found that mindfulness reduces stress. Can you argue with that?

But sitting on my sofa and watching my breath for twenty minutes each morning is not enough—at least not for hypervigilant me. Integrating mindfulness into my daily routine has allowed its soothing benefits to caress me twenty-four-seven.

Here are my steps to create a more mindful, serene, and quietly enjoyable day.

How to Create a More Mindful Day

Consider my mindfulness suggestions opportunities rather than must-dos. Choose activities that seem doable and calming to you. Start small with one or two, and add more once those are in place.

Please don’t treat yourself like a drill sergeant. Criticizing yourself only increases stress. It takes time to reverse decades of overthinking or spaciness—the two places the mind tends to go without conscious mindfulness.

Go easy on yourself, but do your best to be consistent.

Mindful waking

Everyone experiences a rise in the stress hormone cortisol in the morning. We need that bio-chemical shift to get out of bed.

As cortisol increases, your thoughts may accelerate, and you might feel the urge to get up and go shortly after opening your eyes.

But it’s wiser to start slow.

Stress specialist David Posen, MD, explains the reasoning for this:

“But flooding your still-sleepy brain with stress is like moving from sitting to a full-out sprint — hard on your body in the moment, and hard to recover from. If you start your day going 60 miles per hour, it’s more difficult to slow down when other stress triggers, like work emails, deadlines, and family commitments, pile on.”—David Posten, MD

This is what I do instead.

When I open my eyes in the morning, I allow myself to experience the present moment rather than reach for my phone. I observe my energy and emotions without judgment.

Feelings sometimes carry over from the previous day, or a chaotic dream may plague me on waking. I note my mental and emotional state without attempting to change it.

Knowing the transitory nature of thoughts and emotions, I trust they’ll change sooner or later. So why fret about them?

Then, I set an intention for the day. I love this intention from the Dalai Lama and keep it on my bedside table:

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.” — the 14th Dalai Lama

I often use this aspiration. But sometimes, I’ll use a one or two-line intention that feels especially pertinent to whatever awaits me on a particular day.

All this can be done in minutes, but don’t rush it. Linger in the present moment as long as you wish. Your nervous system will thank you.

Morning mindfulness session

I brush my teeth, drink a glass of water, and position myself on the couch for morning mindfulness practice.

There are many ways to be mindful in everyday life. However, staying mindful throughout the day can be challenging without a foundation of formal mindfulness meditation.

By formal, I don’t mean strict or severe. I mean setting aside time to practice mindfulness meditation daily or as often as possible.

If you find sitting for long periods challenging, you have options. In the Satipatthana Sutta, the Buddha recognized four ways to practice mindfulness meditation: walking, standing, sitting, and lying down.

I currently practice for an hour a day. You can start with 5-minute sessions and gradually increase your time in mindfulness meditation.

What’s the best amount of time to practice mindfulness meditation?

The Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) course offered at the University of Massachusetts recommends practicing mindfulness for 45–60 minutes daily. Since 1979, 25,000 people have completed the program, which has proven effective for a variety of medical conditions, including stress and anxiety.

If 45 minutes a day seems overwhelming, aim for 20, building up gradually. Once you reach this goal, evaluate whether 20 minutes is sufficient. You may naturally feel called to expand your practice a bit more.

Mindful attention to tasks

At this stage of my development, I know I cannot be mindful of every minute. Instead of setting unrealistic expectations, I select a menu of tasks for everyday mindfulness.

Here are a few that work for me:

• Cooking

• Eating

• Housework

Choose a few specific tasks for mindful attention each week. Rotate them weekly if you wish. Slowly, mindfulness will naturally slip into more of your daily activities.

Resist the urge to multitask because it triggers stress:

“Multitasking has been found to increase the production of the stress hormone cortisol as well as the fight-or-flight hormone adrenaline, which can overstimulate your brain and cause mental fog or scrambled thinking.”—Daniel J. Levitin, The Organized Mind: Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload

At first, it will take effort to remember to be mindful during a designated task. However, repetition will make it easier to remember. In the meantime, a strategically placed sticky note can serve as a helpful reminder.

Eventually, you’ll move into a mindful flow as soon as you engage in your chosen task.

Mindfulness during hobbies or exercise

Mindfulness can be applied to any exercise, from walking to running to swimming. I practiced Tai Chi for three years, and like yoga, it especially lends itself to mindfulness.

If you find it challenging to sit still, mindful movement may be the best option for you.

I love coloring in adult coloring books as a hobby. The activity itself is calming and a perfect way to practice mindfulness. Although my mind occasionally wanders, I always return to my coloring page and the present moment, which is the essential practice of mindfulness.

Could your hobbies or exercise program become a part of your everyday mindfulness?

Mindful media consumption

I find it hard to resist my favorite digital distractions, particularly YouTube. But I’ve set one helpful rule: Not to consume media when I wake up and before bedtime.

According to one survey cited by Harvard Health, Americans check their mobile phones an average of 80 times a day. Isn’t that shocking? The article goes on to say:

“The most obvious distractions are the alerts that come from the phone itself. Simply hearing the sound or feeling the vibration provides enough distraction to interfere with a task, even if you don’t take time to view the message. Once you’ve engaged with the phone, such as to answer a call, it’s easy to let your attention drift to other phone-related activities, such as answering email. Icons, bright colors, and catchy tunes heighten the attraction of these apps and enhance their ability to draw focus away from other tasks.”

Digital distractions can wreck our concentration. Mindfulness, on the other hand, can improve our attentional ability.

What’s one step you could take to limit the overconsumption of media?

Falling asleep mindful

I use falling asleep as another chance to be mindful.

I focus on a tiny sphere of light in my heart, a practice used in dream yoga taught in the Buddhist tradition. When my mind wanders, I return it to the object.

The initial purpose of dream yoga is to become aware that you’re in a dream and to exercise control over the circumstances you encounter.

For example, if something frightens you, you can fly away. Ultimately, the practice can help you better understand the nature of higher consciousness.

On a practical level, mindfulness at bedtime calms my nervous system and helps me to fall asleep. It might help you, too.

Try Everyday Mindfulness for More Calm

If you struggle with stress, consider everyday mindfulness.

I haven’t magically transformed from a stress-seeking missile to a swan gracefully floating upon a lake. Due to my genetics and past traumas, I may always be more inclined to stress more than the average person.

Thanks to everyday mindfulness, I’m far more peaceful than ever. I wish the same for you.

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