33 Comments
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Twisted Willow Wellness's avatar

Sandra, thank you for sharing such a real and brave story. Your commitment to healing—even when it’s messy and unpredictable—is exactly what trauma recovery needs. “Rest and Restore” sounds like a powerful tool, and I’m excited to see it helping more people listen to their bodies and reset for real. Keep leading the way.

— Corinne

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Corinne, thank you for the encouragement! Your support means a great deal to me. "Rest and Restore" is the newest healing program developed by trauma researcher Stephen Porges, complementing his "Safe and Sound" protocol for nervous system healing. It is a powerful program, and many people report significant healing. I may not continue with it myself, but I'm happy it's been helpful to so many people.

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Zeenat Merchant Syal's avatar

Sandra, I am so glad you are ok now. Its scary to go through something like this. You are right, all our trusted tools to cope can just stop working when things get this heavy. MY anxiousness tends to come out more now during the hormonal shifts than it used to before. I know that...yet it takes me a while to calm down. Breathing and being busy helps me come back to centre. Some somatic exercises help too....but sometimes when all else fails...I just lay down and breathe.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Zeenat, Hello dear friend! I appreciate your kindness and support. You know how to handle anxiety well. Thanks for your well-honed tips. I just learned recently that menopausal hormones can mimic panic attacks. Another reason to de-stigmatize them! I'm doing much better now, but the fear has dissolved completely. Fortunately, I haven't had another panic attacks for weeks now.

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Gracie's avatar

I feel ya Sandra. They really suck. Had a few myself. Very helpful tips and tricks you have shared. Breathing into a paper bag helps some but not all.

I am now using TRE exercises with a therapist to move trauma from the body. It is truly wonderful and I can't sing its praises enough. It has amazed me how much I have stored and still continue to release. I feel the body relax very deeply after a session. It is really helping.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Grace, Thanks for your kind support. It means the world to me! I'm sorry you've had to deal with trauma and anxiety attacks as well. It's inspiring to hear that you found a way to move the trauma from your body. I have heard of TRE and am aware that it works well for some individuals.

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Donna Skeels Cygan's avatar

Sandra - Thank you for sharing the strategies that have been helpful for you. Your readers (including me) benefit from your honesty and vulnerability.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Donna, thank you so much! I felt compelled to share this experience because it might help someone else. I feel so much better, too!

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Charlotte Rains Dixon, MFA's avatar

Sandra, this is very helpful, thank you. I'll remember the next time my anxiety heightens.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Charlotte, Thanks, I’m glad you found it helpful! Wishing you well!

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Cathy Joseph's avatar

Sandra, I am so sorry you have been going through this! It's good to know you have discovered what works well for you if another panic attack starts, but I sure hope these are now behind you.

Thank you for all the education on panic and anxiety attacks. It's helpful to know.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Cathy, Thanks for always being there in a kind and supportive way. I hope the panic attacks are behind me, too. Time will tell. Whatever happens, I feel more equipped for dealing with them, and I know I will be okay. I've felt calmer and more like myself over the last few days, so maybe I've turned a corner. Fingers crossed!

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Cathy Joseph's avatar

🤞🤞

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

Sending love Sandra. That sounds so intense. I have very similar approaches to navigating anxiety, and find we need a range of different responses depending on the level of intensity. Funnily enough, I have just been drafting a piece on this earlier today

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Vicki, Thanks for your support! I'm glad these approaches resonated. I'm looking forward to reading your article. Anxiety is so common, and we all need support and to know that we are loved and cared for and not aberrations.

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Ryan Delaney's avatar

Thank you for sharing this. It was honest, clear, and helpful. I liked how you explained what the panic attack felt like and what helped. I recall feeling terror while face-down in the snow and people piled on top of me for a photo op. So, I have some sense.

The part about needing to move before trying to calm down made sense. I've experienced this too. Most of us try to fix it immediately, but you showed how important it is to listen to what the body needs first. You've helped us feel less alone and more prepared.

Glad you're feeling much better and wishing you continued healing, Sandra.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Ryan, lying face down in the snow with people piling on top of you, could truly bring on a panic attack, so I think you have a good sense of what it's like. I wrote this because I want to help others who go through a similar situation, so I genuinely appreciate the acknowledgement. Thank you for your support!

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Your story reminded me of a time I tried a meditation retreat early in my journey with meditation, thinking I'd become a Zen master overnight.

Instead, I spent most of my time fighting off panic, because suddenly, I was acutely aware of every twitch and throb in my body. It was like being trapped in a sensory overload chamber! I realized that, like you said, sometimes calming techniques just don't cut it. Your advice to move gently and ‘orient’ rings so true. I eventually took to pacing their garden like a caged tiger, muttering, “I am here, I am safe” to every passing dandelion. It wasn’t graceful, but it worked.

Sending you so much support as you continue on this path, and wishing you all the best in your ongoing recovery.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Alex, as always, your support means so much to me. Thanks for sharing your meditation story. I'm sorry meditation was so uncomfortable for you, and no one was there to support you. I'm glad there was a garden space, and pacing helped. I've come to learn that meditation doesn't feel safe for everyone. A panic or trauma response may happen more often than we know, but often people don't talk about it. They just never come back. Meditation teachers need to be more aware of this possibility as part of their training and know how to respond sensitively.

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Alexander Lovell, PhD's avatar

Thankfully, meditation is wonderful now! But I think sometimes meditation teachers are so surprised that meditation can be so uncomfortable, and even traumatic. When one is stuck in fight or flight, peace can actually be SO… foreign and even traumatic to experience. 🩵

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Dr Vicki Connop's avatar

I had a similar experience Alexander, the first time I went to a meditation class in my 20s. I was going through a very intense time and thought it would help me get calm. Instead I spent half an hour having a full-blown panic on a cushion! Sometimes sitting still is not the ideal response 🙃

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Vicki, that sounds so intense. Thanks for sharing your story so we can all become more aware of how meditation can trigger panic or trauma for some of us.

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Judy Murdoch's avatar

Thanks for sharing this Sandra. The practice of just noticing with your senses sounds powerful and calming. Something I'd like to try when anxiety kicks my ass.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Judy, this has been a powerful learning for me. I need to combine the noticing with gentle movement, and so far it has worked beautifully. I'm glad this can be a resource for you. Thanks for being here!

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Judy Murdoch's avatar

Sending some hugs and kindness your way.

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Brenda Soer's avatar

Sandra ....pretty scary...I heard a few stories....glad you are coping....not that I have experienced nor do I want to...but I do get anxious at time but find putting my body into action ( no matter how small ) gets me out of my mind -- I almost thinkin of PA as tremors after an earthquake ... Mother Earth releasing trauma after her plates shift

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Brenda, I'm glad you have your method for dealing with anxiety well-established and that it works well for you. It's been a rough ride, but I feel so much better now. Thanks for your support! I'm glad the PA earthquake was a small one, so no one was hurt and Mother Earth could do what she needs to do.

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Brenda Soer's avatar

not really Sandra.. that`s how I came down with RA -- fight or flight -- when my body was so revved up for so long...it crossed a tipping point and sent signals that start attacking my own joints -- and the earthquake I mentioned... was

only symbolic for a panic attack with tremors following afterwards --- sorry Sandra ..sometimes my meaning is blurred when I don`t explain properly : )))

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Brenda, I'm so sorry you developed RA and have to cope with the pain it brings. The fight-or-flight response can trigger all sorts of physical maladies when it's revved up for too long. Sadly, it's a double whammy. I see your meaning of the PA earthquake now. Thanks for explaining!

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Brenda Soer's avatar

just finished reading about this girl walking the Santa De Camio...who had a panic attack in the tiny little bathrooms at one of the hostels cause the lights / showers all work on timers...and the first thing she did was exhale -- to slow her breathing down and then was able to talk herself out of there... ( sorry Sandra ..don`t mean to carry this one on ..just wanted to add that last comment..since I just finished reading it : )))

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Brenda, I’m glad you did! The more we share our stories and the stories we read, the more we can learn from one another. Thank you!

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Evelyn Lim's avatar

Oh dear, this sounds really serious.

I am glad to know that you are well enough to publish this article and feeling better now. It's great that you are well resourced. Have a good rest and wishing you the best in health!

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Evelyn, Thank you for your good wishes. It was an intense time for me! I seem to have turned a corner and am feeling more relaxed, centered, and ground. Thank you for your love and support. I appreciate you.

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