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Susan Kuenzi's avatar

I really loved your hairdresser’s comments and also your interpretation and application of his thoughts. I love my husband but the man is wasn’t wired with much empathy or insight into how his words impact me. He seems to need to list my faults to me and review the list often lest I forget. I think he misguidedly thinks this will inspire growth or help me improve. Might be his military background also. But sometimes I just respond, “Ah yes. That is very troublesome. I guess it’s a good thing I have some other really good qualities to help offset all those flaws!!” My favorite response to say to him when he is visibly upset “being you would be really hard.” I know who I am. Truth is he is really blessed. We laugh quite often.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Susan, I’m glad you feel confident in yourself and can brush off your husband’s negative remarks. I tend to take things personally, but it’s much better if we don’t let people get to us.

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Susan Kuenzi's avatar

Sometimes I take things personally too. But as I reflected on your hairdressers wisdom, I smiled. We need to remember who we are and sometimes that means letting someone’s words roll off, not reaching us or disturbing our peace. Appreciate you. I have a wonderful hairdresser too. My work in counseling gives me an appreciation for the power of someone like her who listens, genuinely cares, and offers acceptance and kindness along with a shampoo and cut. Blessings and thank you.

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Kathy A. Johnson's avatar

I loved this story. I'm glad you had someone who could reinforce your beauty and uniqueness. These simple messages are so true, but so hard to remember in a world that doesn't generally reinforce them.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Thank you, Kathy. You're so right, these kinds of messages can be so hard to remember. That's why I thought they were worth repeating again in your story. Thanks for commenting and connecting.

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Alwy Ali's avatar

Love reading all your articles. They are informative, encouraging and spirit up-lifting.

Thank you Sandra

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Alwy, So touched my your positive words! Thank you so much!

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Raveen's avatar

Wise life lessons.

I think one important thing to do consistently in our personal journeys to develop greater self-esteem and self-respect, is to take a moment to pause, recognize and appreciate what we've gone through and achieved thus far in our journeys. This should indeed be applied to any process of growing and trying to improve ourselves.

By doing this, we'll be able to develop a greater sense of pride and appreciation for ourselves as well as our resilience for making it this far.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Raveen, Thank you for the acknowledgement and this smart tip for developing more self-esteem.

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Raveen's avatar

Welcome

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Cheryl Chidrawi's avatar

We need more people like Gerry in the world 🙏

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

We do indeed! Thank you, Cheryl.

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Cheryl Chidrawi's avatar

🙏

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Jean Sampson's avatar

Wouldn't it be lovely if we had one good friend who understood how to respond like your hairdresser? :) Or, on the other hand, we can all be our own best friend and be as non-judgmental as he is. It is really a process to develop self-esteem in all areas of our lives, but if we decide to do it, we can, at least much of the time. Sending love, Sandra! <3

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Brenda Soer's avatar

why not..the student becomes the teacher...( and sometimes the haircutter too )

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Yes, that's wonderful too!

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Jean, Love your positive response. Yes, it would all be wonderful if we had a good friend who accepted us unconditionally. Even more than one! And of course, we have to be our own best friend because everything changes, we can't always rely on someone else to give us a boost. Thanks for that dose of positive energy!

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Brenda Soer's avatar

I agree...practice being our own best friend.

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