Such a thoughtful, thought-provoking piece, Sandra. 💛 I feel like I still have to go with Viktor Frankl's conclusion in Man's Search for Meaning - purpose. To my mind, it doesn't get more distilled down to the essence than finding meaning in life, and maybe even moments of joy (though don't quote me on that - it's been many years since I read), in a concentration camp by connecting to a purpose that was meaningful to him. I think my stumbling block maybe has been thinking I could be content with slivers of purpose instead of figuring out the fullness of what I've wanted to do all along.
Ann, Purpose is essential; no one has spoken about purpose more clearly and poignantly than Viktor Frankl. Thank you for sharing how important purpose is in your life and how you've realized you need more than slivers of it. I'd like to think that purpose can include joy, or perhaps satisfaction would be a better word. Thanks for sharing your insights.
I’ve read this essay three times. It’s so on point with much of my own journey. Joy is finally within my grasp nearing the age of 60. Many things have had to happen in my personal life to get me to this point and I’m so at peace with where I am and the direction I am continuing to follow. This is a fantastic read Sandra!
Kat, I'm so happy to hear you're at peace. It seems it can take decades of life experience to know ourselves finally and what will bring us peace. But then it feels so right. Thanks for your kind words!
You got me thinking about whether Joy is the concept I think of when I say something “Feeds My Soul,” and I think that for me, the answer is no. For me, Joy has an element of surprise and delight, whereas feeding my soul is more closely tied to inner peace and tranquility. I suppose that if I consciously “feed my soul” a varied diet, then I would include Joy among the ingredients.
As to whether the presence or absence of joy can be my barometer, I think for me, it’s more a matter of inner peace. When the decisions I make “feed my soul,” I am at peace. This includes where I live, how I respond to my own needs and the needs of others, the clothes I wear, the complexity or simplicity of my day-to-day life, the health of my relationships, my intellectual and physical pursuits..
I decided to see how the dictionary defines Joy. Merriam-Webster’s definition states “ Joy is a feeling of great pleasure or happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being.” I believe that maybe I equate feeding my soul to my sense of well being. Yet for me it is a quiet feeling of well-being, not so much the exuberance of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy as the peacefulness of Brahms’ lullaby.
You have inspired me to pursue this a little more — probably time to pull out C.S. Lewis’, Surprised by Joy.
Looking over your four final questions in Friday’s email, I believe I answered the first two. In response toe the third, I think I have been unconsciously feeding my soul and using my sense of inner peace as my guide.
As for the fourth, I believe that I am more driven by that sense of congruence with my inner peace than by external rewards. And yet, my interactions with the external world reflect my success or failure to be the person I aspire to be. I cannot feed my soul when I live in isolation, and as soon as I interact with my external world, I am forced to make decisions which may or may not contribute to my inner peace.
Sandra, I love that you continue to help me look deeper. I look forward to reading Wild Arisings whenever it lands in my Inbox. I don’t know if I will become a paid subscriber. I have been reducing my paid subscriptions, and this may not be the right time for me to add a new one! That said, I dislike the idea of missing any of your offerings, and at the same time I respect your desire/need to be paid for sharing your reflections. I like the idea of discussion threads and even some 30-day challenges. I had already decided this year that I need to more actively pursue my spiritual life, which has been set aside for several years in the urgency to live my everyday life. As you look at making some changes and are reorganizing your life and priorities, I am at a similar place,
Joelle, I appreciate your willingness to go within, learn, and grow! Inner peace is also important to me so I can understand why it's become such a critical measure in your life. We don't need to have the same definition of "feed your soul." We only need to know our own definition. I love how you are clarifying and refining your definition even more through this exploration. I'm inspired that you are driven by inner peace more than external rewards. It's only natural that our inner peace is sometimes challlenged when we interact with the external world! That's the testing ground for all of us and it's not necessarily easy, but we can aspire to retain our inner peace more and more.
I understand how paid subscriptions can become expensive. I value all my subscribers, paid and free. Most of my offerings will continue to be free, including discussion threads at least to start. I don't know if it will be realistic to do 30-day challenges. We'll see next year.
Thanks for sharing so deeply and honestly. And thank you for your support. Wishing you the best always.
So many beautiful thoughts and concepts in this article! I too tend to remember the good times and let that keep me in situations that no longer work. That was my experience with Instagram from a long time. I think these digital media companies are designed to capture us in this way! I read another Substack post this week from someone who created a ton of content for Insight meditation timer. After years of effort, Insight changed the pay plan, dramatically reducing her payout. Writing this comment, I’m becoming leery of Substack, too. The situation is good now, but it’s so risky to build your business on a model and platform that you don’t control and that can change at any time. (At least here you own your list, and the profit structure is totally different. So probably more trustworthy than others.) These companies lure us in with the promise of traffic and money, and then once they accrue the power, make selfish, greedy decisions that stomp on the people who got them where they are. It’s infuriating! I’m glad you’re stepping away and pouring more into your membership here. That sounds like a great plan! I was hoping to focus here, but honestly feel the pay doesn’t reflect the amount of work required to build a substantial membership. My energy and health is better now, so I’m planning to turn my blogs into YouTube videos next year, and will probably create some kind of a course. I’m realizing I love working with people more hands on, and writing sometimes feels too distant. But that’s just me! Substack is a great platform. Anyway, this was such a lovely blog to read, full of inspiration and wisdom for all of life, and not just our work! What brings joy? A question to sit with over the week for sure! (I too am much happier working less, and having more time to contemplate, and am still working through tendencies to overwork.)
Suzanne, I appreciate how deeply you engage when you respond! I'm thrilled to hear you have clarified what you want to do (1:1) and the platform you feel will work best for you. We've both been online long enough to have seen far too many social media sites evolve and leave behind the members who put in the time to build them. Medium was a great gig while it lasted, but everything is impermanent, especially in the online world. I also like Substack's profit structure and ambiance much more than any other platform. It is a long game, though, and there's no guarantee that even if we put in the work, we'll be successful. An independent blog is no longer the answer because search no longer sends many people our way, and it's the same when we share links on social media. Finding joy amid all this impermanence can be challenging! I'm thrilled so many people see the value in including joy as a determining factor for their life choices, even though it often means retraining our minds and hearts. Thanks for joining me in this exploration of joy!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I really appreciate reading this, and I personally have been working on letting go of the things I do because I think I "should" and focusing on what feels nourishing for me now. It's hard though to discern between comfort and joy because sometimes the comfortable decision feels like the right one, like eating sugar or avoiding work. I am honestly struggling to allow myself to feel joy because I often times find fear comes along with it. Joy may be the best life guide but it can also be the hardest.
Christina, Thanks so much for sharing your insights and journey with joy. You clearly show how following joy is a process and how fear can easily overshadow it or lead us to choose comfort over true joy. I love how we can learn from each other when we share so honestly. Thank you for taking a moment to respond. I wish you the best on your journey towards more joy and less obligation.
Lately I’ve been focusing on deconditioning from my behavior of not knowing when enough is enough with the holding onto unhealthy things for too long. It’s caused way too many issue in my body and it can’t take it any longer. Recognizing how my body feels in the presence of others has been an awareness that I never knew I needed until recently.
I’ve decided society has been so bad for me that I really don’t have a desire to participate in it anymore. Of course I will because of my child and we have to do what we have to do.
We deserve joy because we are alive. It’s our God given right. Find it wherever, whenever, and however we can. From the smallest to the largest things, it’s all around us if we are aware. Not sure I would categorize joy as the best life guide, but I could see it being up there.
I agree with the slow living. I’m just not into the hustle culture, I’d rather nap.
Glad to hear your thyroid was in the normal range. I looked up Hat and will bring it up to my doctor next time I’m there as I have the majority of the symptoms and have all my life. So annoying.
Lori, I admire your focus on deconditioning from not knowing when enough is enough. I resonate with what you're saying. I'm in a period right now when my body is telling me I'm over the line and need to let go of a few things. Listening to our body is such an important skill to develop.
I also appreciate your position on joy! You're so right; we can tap into joy in all the small and big things around us if we just open our eyes and decide to be aware. Just waking up in the morning is a miracle.
Your thoughts about society interest me, too. I'm more on the hermit side of the equation.
The HaT anomaly is not uncommon; it occurs in about 5% of the white population. One study showed that about 1/3rd of people with the genetic difference have no symptoms, 1/3rd have mild symptoms, and 1/3rd have significant symptoms and not necessarily every symptom on the list. It will be interesting to see what your doctor says. Since this genetic difference was only discovered around 2015, most doctors are unaware of it. Good luck with that! I find it helps me to have an answer to health problems even if there isn't a miracle solution. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Sandra- You so perfectly described my childhood theme, and the result for me was the same. Over years and years of healing work I have been able to drop my hyper-responsibility and undeserved loyalty and be true to myself, instead. I have learned to let others be responsible for their own feelings and let the chips fall where they may. This has been hard but brings so much freedom.
As to joy- it is my adult theme. The word joy is all over my house. I live my life looking for moments of joy and the more I acknowledge them the more I find. Making a major move last year was hard work but has landed me in a place that brings so much joy every day that it was worth it. I agree with the Dalai Lama- joy is our birthright and many times it takes courage to reach out for it. I believe we all know deep down what would bring us joy. But many times we are afraid of it or convince ourselves we don’t deserve it.
As to Medium- your description of the emotional roller coaster of the Boost program is spot on. I’ve stopped writing for the Boost and just write for my readers now. It makes it more tolerable to write there. I refuse to engage in the competition.
Thanks for such a beautiful and thought provoking piece.
Beth, I'm inspired by how you've been able to drop your hyper-responsibility and undeserved loyalty to be true to yourself instead. It's a true testimony to what's possible in this life when we devote ourselves to self-healing. You have given us some beautiful lessons in choosing joy from how you decorate your house with the word to your courage to move. I agree with you; our choices often come from fear rather than joy. But we can retrain our hearts and mind and realize we deserve joy. Thanks for your Medium tip, too. I don't know what I'll do about Medium. Right now, I'm focusing on my health and I don't have the energy to focus on both platforms. So, at the very least, I'm taking a break. I'm glad you liked the piece and appreciate that you have shared so honestly.
Great read. If the body feels joy great. If it brings sadness thats it too. From a Zen Buddhist perspective I came to realise I was not authoring my thoughts. Nobody is doing this. Nobody is in control.The body does what it does. It is just happening. There is nobody in there pushing or pulling on life eg choosing joy or it's opposite. There is only reality being reality and you are that. That desire for control that we all have can drop at which point whatever arises just arises. ❤
Gracie, Thanks for sharing a spiritual perspective about this question. I've studied Tibetan Buddhism for more than 30 years so I understand where you're coming. I aspire to experience no-self as well. However, the Middle Way philoosophy doesn't reject the notion of a conventional self, only that it's not inherently existent. We are interdependent and we create karma so our choices and actions do matter. That doesn't change when we realize no-self. At the same time, I appreciate your point and the idea that we shouldn't grasp too strongly on joy or sorrow. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
This was so great to read. Coincidentally, before reading this, I had been making a conscious effort to fill my schedule with more activities that bring me joy. I made this decision after doing an honest assessment of my time, and realizing that very little of it is spent doing things that I actually enjoy, and a large portion of my time is spent on activities and responsibilities that I don't enjoy, or no longer enjoy. When I realized this, it was a real wake up call for me. I also pride myself on being super responsible at work and at home, but I've realized as I age how important it is to show up for myself in order to give the very best of myself to my family as well. Little steps - I joined two musical groups that meet evenings, and I absolutely love getting back into playing music, which brings me so much joy. Just those two small steps have made a huge impact on cutting through the "dread" that sometimes fills me when I look at my workload on Monday mornings. Thanks, Sandra...great things to think more about here.
Victoria, I love the synchronicity! Thanks for sharing your process for bringing more joy into your life. I’m sure it will inspire others. Knowing that small changes can make such a big difference is especially helpful. No one has to make a complete life overhaul to bring in more joy. Thanks for mentioning how you pride yourself on your sense of responsibility. It slipped my mind, but I wanted to say in my piece that responsibility is a beautiful quality I admire in others. But as you point out, the key is simply bringing responsibility into balance with joy. Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support of my writing. It means so much to me.
Sandra, lovely, thought provoking piece! I struggle with the word “joy” itself, but I’m recognizing that something of that sort needs to be allowed to show up for me as I make choices based on responsibility and loyalty, too. Something I’ll be pondering.
And I must say, “I have a plan” is one of the most exciting sentences! Love a plan! Brimming with potential!! Can’t wait to see what evolves for you. 🩵
Lori, Thanks, I'm glad the piece resonated. I also struggled with the word "joy" and would brush it off when someone advised me to do what brings me joy. Joy may not be the best translation of "feed your soul" for everyone, and I also resonate with "contentment" or deep satisfaction, which you mentioned in a Note. I have occasional random moments of joy, but that's different than what I mean in this piece, which is connected to our choices about what we do for work, relationships, and play. Thanks for sharing your personal take on what motivates you.
Imagine my surprise to see my name here this morning, Sandra - you are amazing!
There was a companion emotion that helped me know it was time to leave Medium. It no longer fed my soul - and - writing there depleted my energy. While I was alternating weeks between Medium and Substack, I started dreading the Medium weeks. You perfectly described the angst I felt with the Boost game, which felt like a competition. I am not a competitive person and it was uncomfortable.
As I read your post, I was reminded of something I learned from a wise friend years ago when reaching for understanding. Become aware of how a choice, a situation, a course of action feels in your body, because your body never lies. When I write on Substack, my heart opens and becomes expansive. I am filled with joy! When I wrote on Medium, my heart felt closed and I had a knot in the pit of my stomach. My body knew the answer I needed, and it helped me get my head out of the way. Since I was not having financial success, that was not a consideration.
Thank you for the post and for your kind mention of me!
Cathy, I hope it was a good surprise! I know the one line I used ("feed your soul") could not fully explain your thoughts and feelings about your decision to let go of writing on Medium. I'm so glad you elaborated here. This is like a mini-instruction and how to listen to our bodies! I agree with you; our bodies have an intelligence that never lies, and listening to its clues is worthwhile. I admire your courage!
This is a beautiful essay Sandra. I would say it is the best I have read in the past few years. It will take me a while to ponder your questions, but I would suggest following your heart and feeding your soul. You have concisely written an article that is jam-packed with important issues. Thank you!
Thanks for the mention Sandra. Been talking to a couple of friends of mine just this morning who live in the impact areas and according to their account it’s still pretty dire. So let’s all continue to send them rays of love, light, and resources.
You're so welcome! I'm delighted to recommend a worthy Stack like yours and appreciate your generosity. My heart is with all those whose lives have been devastated by Hurricane Helene. I lost my home and the five acres it stood on during the 2018 lava eruption in Hawaii, so I have a sense of what that's like and the sorrow and trauma it can bring.
Such a thoughtful, thought-provoking piece, Sandra. 💛 I feel like I still have to go with Viktor Frankl's conclusion in Man's Search for Meaning - purpose. To my mind, it doesn't get more distilled down to the essence than finding meaning in life, and maybe even moments of joy (though don't quote me on that - it's been many years since I read), in a concentration camp by connecting to a purpose that was meaningful to him. I think my stumbling block maybe has been thinking I could be content with slivers of purpose instead of figuring out the fullness of what I've wanted to do all along.
Ann, Purpose is essential; no one has spoken about purpose more clearly and poignantly than Viktor Frankl. Thank you for sharing how important purpose is in your life and how you've realized you need more than slivers of it. I'd like to think that purpose can include joy, or perhaps satisfaction would be a better word. Thanks for sharing your insights.
Satisfaction and joy - maybe kinda the same thing? They feel pretty close to me 💛
Ann, I think so! But I love that each person gets to define what feeding the soul looks and feels like for themselves.
I’ve read this essay three times. It’s so on point with much of my own journey. Joy is finally within my grasp nearing the age of 60. Many things have had to happen in my personal life to get me to this point and I’m so at peace with where I am and the direction I am continuing to follow. This is a fantastic read Sandra!
Kat, I'm so happy to hear you're at peace. It seems it can take decades of life experience to know ourselves finally and what will bring us peace. But then it feels so right. Thanks for your kind words!
You got me thinking about whether Joy is the concept I think of when I say something “Feeds My Soul,” and I think that for me, the answer is no. For me, Joy has an element of surprise and delight, whereas feeding my soul is more closely tied to inner peace and tranquility. I suppose that if I consciously “feed my soul” a varied diet, then I would include Joy among the ingredients.
As to whether the presence or absence of joy can be my barometer, I think for me, it’s more a matter of inner peace. When the decisions I make “feed my soul,” I am at peace. This includes where I live, how I respond to my own needs and the needs of others, the clothes I wear, the complexity or simplicity of my day-to-day life, the health of my relationships, my intellectual and physical pursuits..
I decided to see how the dictionary defines Joy. Merriam-Webster’s definition states “ Joy is a feeling of great pleasure or happiness that comes from success, good fortune, or a sense of well-being.” I believe that maybe I equate feeding my soul to my sense of well being. Yet for me it is a quiet feeling of well-being, not so much the exuberance of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy as the peacefulness of Brahms’ lullaby.
You have inspired me to pursue this a little more — probably time to pull out C.S. Lewis’, Surprised by Joy.
Looking over your four final questions in Friday’s email, I believe I answered the first two. In response toe the third, I think I have been unconsciously feeding my soul and using my sense of inner peace as my guide.
As for the fourth, I believe that I am more driven by that sense of congruence with my inner peace than by external rewards. And yet, my interactions with the external world reflect my success or failure to be the person I aspire to be. I cannot feed my soul when I live in isolation, and as soon as I interact with my external world, I am forced to make decisions which may or may not contribute to my inner peace.
Sandra, I love that you continue to help me look deeper. I look forward to reading Wild Arisings whenever it lands in my Inbox. I don’t know if I will become a paid subscriber. I have been reducing my paid subscriptions, and this may not be the right time for me to add a new one! That said, I dislike the idea of missing any of your offerings, and at the same time I respect your desire/need to be paid for sharing your reflections. I like the idea of discussion threads and even some 30-day challenges. I had already decided this year that I need to more actively pursue my spiritual life, which has been set aside for several years in the urgency to live my everyday life. As you look at making some changes and are reorganizing your life and priorities, I am at a similar place,
Joelle
Joelle, I appreciate your willingness to go within, learn, and grow! Inner peace is also important to me so I can understand why it's become such a critical measure in your life. We don't need to have the same definition of "feed your soul." We only need to know our own definition. I love how you are clarifying and refining your definition even more through this exploration. I'm inspired that you are driven by inner peace more than external rewards. It's only natural that our inner peace is sometimes challlenged when we interact with the external world! That's the testing ground for all of us and it's not necessarily easy, but we can aspire to retain our inner peace more and more.
I understand how paid subscriptions can become expensive. I value all my subscribers, paid and free. Most of my offerings will continue to be free, including discussion threads at least to start. I don't know if it will be realistic to do 30-day challenges. We'll see next year.
Thanks for sharing so deeply and honestly. And thank you for your support. Wishing you the best always.
So many beautiful thoughts and concepts in this article! I too tend to remember the good times and let that keep me in situations that no longer work. That was my experience with Instagram from a long time. I think these digital media companies are designed to capture us in this way! I read another Substack post this week from someone who created a ton of content for Insight meditation timer. After years of effort, Insight changed the pay plan, dramatically reducing her payout. Writing this comment, I’m becoming leery of Substack, too. The situation is good now, but it’s so risky to build your business on a model and platform that you don’t control and that can change at any time. (At least here you own your list, and the profit structure is totally different. So probably more trustworthy than others.) These companies lure us in with the promise of traffic and money, and then once they accrue the power, make selfish, greedy decisions that stomp on the people who got them where they are. It’s infuriating! I’m glad you’re stepping away and pouring more into your membership here. That sounds like a great plan! I was hoping to focus here, but honestly feel the pay doesn’t reflect the amount of work required to build a substantial membership. My energy and health is better now, so I’m planning to turn my blogs into YouTube videos next year, and will probably create some kind of a course. I’m realizing I love working with people more hands on, and writing sometimes feels too distant. But that’s just me! Substack is a great platform. Anyway, this was such a lovely blog to read, full of inspiration and wisdom for all of life, and not just our work! What brings joy? A question to sit with over the week for sure! (I too am much happier working less, and having more time to contemplate, and am still working through tendencies to overwork.)
Suzanne, I appreciate how deeply you engage when you respond! I'm thrilled to hear you have clarified what you want to do (1:1) and the platform you feel will work best for you. We've both been online long enough to have seen far too many social media sites evolve and leave behind the members who put in the time to build them. Medium was a great gig while it lasted, but everything is impermanent, especially in the online world. I also like Substack's profit structure and ambiance much more than any other platform. It is a long game, though, and there's no guarantee that even if we put in the work, we'll be successful. An independent blog is no longer the answer because search no longer sends many people our way, and it's the same when we share links on social media. Finding joy amid all this impermanence can be challenging! I'm thrilled so many people see the value in including joy as a determining factor for their life choices, even though it often means retraining our minds and hearts. Thanks for joining me in this exploration of joy!
Thank you so much for sharing this! I really appreciate reading this, and I personally have been working on letting go of the things I do because I think I "should" and focusing on what feels nourishing for me now. It's hard though to discern between comfort and joy because sometimes the comfortable decision feels like the right one, like eating sugar or avoiding work. I am honestly struggling to allow myself to feel joy because I often times find fear comes along with it. Joy may be the best life guide but it can also be the hardest.
Christina, Thanks so much for sharing your insights and journey with joy. You clearly show how following joy is a process and how fear can easily overshadow it or lead us to choose comfort over true joy. I love how we can learn from each other when we share so honestly. Thank you for taking a moment to respond. I wish you the best on your journey towards more joy and less obligation.
Thanks for sharing all this beautiful wisdom!!
Lately I’ve been focusing on deconditioning from my behavior of not knowing when enough is enough with the holding onto unhealthy things for too long. It’s caused way too many issue in my body and it can’t take it any longer. Recognizing how my body feels in the presence of others has been an awareness that I never knew I needed until recently.
I’ve decided society has been so bad for me that I really don’t have a desire to participate in it anymore. Of course I will because of my child and we have to do what we have to do.
We deserve joy because we are alive. It’s our God given right. Find it wherever, whenever, and however we can. From the smallest to the largest things, it’s all around us if we are aware. Not sure I would categorize joy as the best life guide, but I could see it being up there.
I agree with the slow living. I’m just not into the hustle culture, I’d rather nap.
Glad to hear your thyroid was in the normal range. I looked up Hat and will bring it up to my doctor next time I’m there as I have the majority of the symptoms and have all my life. So annoying.
Lori, I admire your focus on deconditioning from not knowing when enough is enough. I resonate with what you're saying. I'm in a period right now when my body is telling me I'm over the line and need to let go of a few things. Listening to our body is such an important skill to develop.
I also appreciate your position on joy! You're so right; we can tap into joy in all the small and big things around us if we just open our eyes and decide to be aware. Just waking up in the morning is a miracle.
Your thoughts about society interest me, too. I'm more on the hermit side of the equation.
The HaT anomaly is not uncommon; it occurs in about 5% of the white population. One study showed that about 1/3rd of people with the genetic difference have no symptoms, 1/3rd have mild symptoms, and 1/3rd have significant symptoms and not necessarily every symptom on the list. It will be interesting to see what your doctor says. Since this genetic difference was only discovered around 2015, most doctors are unaware of it. Good luck with that! I find it helps me to have an answer to health problems even if there isn't a miracle solution. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Sandra- You so perfectly described my childhood theme, and the result for me was the same. Over years and years of healing work I have been able to drop my hyper-responsibility and undeserved loyalty and be true to myself, instead. I have learned to let others be responsible for their own feelings and let the chips fall where they may. This has been hard but brings so much freedom.
As to joy- it is my adult theme. The word joy is all over my house. I live my life looking for moments of joy and the more I acknowledge them the more I find. Making a major move last year was hard work but has landed me in a place that brings so much joy every day that it was worth it. I agree with the Dalai Lama- joy is our birthright and many times it takes courage to reach out for it. I believe we all know deep down what would bring us joy. But many times we are afraid of it or convince ourselves we don’t deserve it.
As to Medium- your description of the emotional roller coaster of the Boost program is spot on. I’ve stopped writing for the Boost and just write for my readers now. It makes it more tolerable to write there. I refuse to engage in the competition.
Thanks for such a beautiful and thought provoking piece.
Wishing you gentle healing and deep wellness, Sandra. ❤️
Beth, I'm inspired by how you've been able to drop your hyper-responsibility and undeserved loyalty to be true to yourself instead. It's a true testimony to what's possible in this life when we devote ourselves to self-healing. You have given us some beautiful lessons in choosing joy from how you decorate your house with the word to your courage to move. I agree with you; our choices often come from fear rather than joy. But we can retrain our hearts and mind and realize we deserve joy. Thanks for your Medium tip, too. I don't know what I'll do about Medium. Right now, I'm focusing on my health and I don't have the energy to focus on both platforms. So, at the very least, I'm taking a break. I'm glad you liked the piece and appreciate that you have shared so honestly.
Great read. If the body feels joy great. If it brings sadness thats it too. From a Zen Buddhist perspective I came to realise I was not authoring my thoughts. Nobody is doing this. Nobody is in control.The body does what it does. It is just happening. There is nobody in there pushing or pulling on life eg choosing joy or it's opposite. There is only reality being reality and you are that. That desire for control that we all have can drop at which point whatever arises just arises. ❤
Gracie, Thanks for sharing a spiritual perspective about this question. I've studied Tibetan Buddhism for more than 30 years so I understand where you're coming. I aspire to experience no-self as well. However, the Middle Way philoosophy doesn't reject the notion of a conventional self, only that it's not inherently existent. We are interdependent and we create karma so our choices and actions do matter. That doesn't change when we realize no-self. At the same time, I appreciate your point and the idea that we shouldn't grasp too strongly on joy or sorrow. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Yes indeed form is emptiness and emptiness is form. Nice chatting as always. 🙏
This was so great to read. Coincidentally, before reading this, I had been making a conscious effort to fill my schedule with more activities that bring me joy. I made this decision after doing an honest assessment of my time, and realizing that very little of it is spent doing things that I actually enjoy, and a large portion of my time is spent on activities and responsibilities that I don't enjoy, or no longer enjoy. When I realized this, it was a real wake up call for me. I also pride myself on being super responsible at work and at home, but I've realized as I age how important it is to show up for myself in order to give the very best of myself to my family as well. Little steps - I joined two musical groups that meet evenings, and I absolutely love getting back into playing music, which brings me so much joy. Just those two small steps have made a huge impact on cutting through the "dread" that sometimes fills me when I look at my workload on Monday mornings. Thanks, Sandra...great things to think more about here.
Victoria, I love the synchronicity! Thanks for sharing your process for bringing more joy into your life. I’m sure it will inspire others. Knowing that small changes can make such a big difference is especially helpful. No one has to make a complete life overhaul to bring in more joy. Thanks for mentioning how you pride yourself on your sense of responsibility. It slipped my mind, but I wanted to say in my piece that responsibility is a beautiful quality I admire in others. But as you point out, the key is simply bringing responsibility into balance with joy. Thanks so much for your thoughts and your support of my writing. It means so much to me.
Sandra, lovely, thought provoking piece! I struggle with the word “joy” itself, but I’m recognizing that something of that sort needs to be allowed to show up for me as I make choices based on responsibility and loyalty, too. Something I’ll be pondering.
And I must say, “I have a plan” is one of the most exciting sentences! Love a plan! Brimming with potential!! Can’t wait to see what evolves for you. 🩵
Lori, Thanks, I'm glad the piece resonated. I also struggled with the word "joy" and would brush it off when someone advised me to do what brings me joy. Joy may not be the best translation of "feed your soul" for everyone, and I also resonate with "contentment" or deep satisfaction, which you mentioned in a Note. I have occasional random moments of joy, but that's different than what I mean in this piece, which is connected to our choices about what we do for work, relationships, and play. Thanks for sharing your personal take on what motivates you.
Imagine my surprise to see my name here this morning, Sandra - you are amazing!
There was a companion emotion that helped me know it was time to leave Medium. It no longer fed my soul - and - writing there depleted my energy. While I was alternating weeks between Medium and Substack, I started dreading the Medium weeks. You perfectly described the angst I felt with the Boost game, which felt like a competition. I am not a competitive person and it was uncomfortable.
As I read your post, I was reminded of something I learned from a wise friend years ago when reaching for understanding. Become aware of how a choice, a situation, a course of action feels in your body, because your body never lies. When I write on Substack, my heart opens and becomes expansive. I am filled with joy! When I wrote on Medium, my heart felt closed and I had a knot in the pit of my stomach. My body knew the answer I needed, and it helped me get my head out of the way. Since I was not having financial success, that was not a consideration.
Thank you for the post and for your kind mention of me!
Cathy, I hope it was a good surprise! I know the one line I used ("feed your soul") could not fully explain your thoughts and feelings about your decision to let go of writing on Medium. I'm so glad you elaborated here. This is like a mini-instruction and how to listen to our bodies! I agree with you; our bodies have an intelligence that never lies, and listening to its clues is worthwhile. I admire your courage!
It was a wonderful surprise!!!!
This is a beautiful essay Sandra. I would say it is the best I have read in the past few years. It will take me a while to ponder your questions, but I would suggest following your heart and feeding your soul. You have concisely written an article that is jam-packed with important issues. Thank you!
Donna, I'm touched by your kind words! Thank you so much. I appreciate the nudge to follow my soul.
I look forward to reading your articles soon as I need to clean up my financial act a bit! all the best to you.
Sandra, thank you for following me. I’m just starting out on this Substack journey!
Thanks for the mention Sandra. Been talking to a couple of friends of mine just this morning who live in the impact areas and according to their account it’s still pretty dire. So let’s all continue to send them rays of love, light, and resources.
You're so welcome! I'm delighted to recommend a worthy Stack like yours and appreciate your generosity. My heart is with all those whose lives have been devastated by Hurricane Helene. I lost my home and the five acres it stood on during the 2018 lava eruption in Hawaii, so I have a sense of what that's like and the sorrow and trauma it can bring.