24 Comments
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Lorelai White's avatar

🙌 Loved this piece from the first to the last letter. You made so many great points that I can’t respond to all of them… Or maybe it’s because I, too, have lost my voice to some extent.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Thank you so much, Lorelai. Here's to regaining our voices. Yours comes through beautifully in your articles.

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Jennifer Flint's avatar

As we speak I am wearing a ring on my index finger that says “BE KIND” on the outside, and “…OF A BITCH” on the inside. So it’s my little secret (until, you know, it isn’t.) 😉

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Love that! Thanks for sharing, Jennifer.

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Paulette Bodeman's avatar

Thank you so much for sharing this aspect of yourself with us. We are more than just one thing, aren't we?

"A charismatic narcissist wields tremendous power." This line sparked memories of times when I succumbed to the seduction of a spiritual leader's power. It may also spark a post.

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Wild Lion*esses Pride from Jay's avatar

Sandra, I love the way you reclaimed that word—“bitchy”—to make it yours and turn it into something empowering. I think it's so relatable, this dance we do with our voices: finding them, losing them, then remembering to let them out again. I’ve been there too, caught in that need for approval or acceptance, letting others define me. But like you, I’ve also learned that sometimes, we have to let our "bitchy" side shine—whether it’s to protect our boundaries, speak our truth, or stand up for justice.

It’s like we’re reclaiming parts of ourselves, inch by inch. And when we do, we realize how powerful it is to speak up. Thank you for sharing that journey. I feel more empowered just reading it, and it makes me want to keep showing up for my own truth—no matter how loud it needs to be. 💪

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Jay, Thanks for your powerful response. I love your declaration to keep showing up for your own truth—no matter how loud it needs to be. Thanks for sharing your experience of the "dance." I'm glad you found my story so relatable. All the best!

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Cathy Joseph's avatar

Even exploring your bitchy side, you are one of the kindest people on the planet. Well done on finding that voice!!

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Maia Duerr's avatar

Celebrating your (our) multidimensionality, and truly appreciating this piece, Sandra!

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Maia, Thank you so much. Women need to reclaim their voices more than ever during this period of history. The more people who can speak truth to "power," the better.

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Akanksha Priyadarshini's avatar

This is terrific, Sandra! Thank you for sharing your journey with such honesty. I’ve judged myself for not standing my ground for fear of losing love and acceptance. Now, as I find my voice again, it’s reassuring to know I’m not alone. I needed this today—thank you!

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Akanksha, It's nice to walk a similair path with you and reclaim our voices together! Thanks for sharing so honestly.

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Lori L. Cangilla, Ph.D.'s avatar

I am so glad when I see the "bitchy" side come out of sensitive, peaceful, loving, compassionate individuals! I know it means that they are fired up and are drawing attention to something that matters. Keep allowing all parts of your voice to come forward, Sandra! 💚✨

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Lori, I love how you see this positively in the context of sensitive people! I'm all for allowing all parts of our voice to come forward. Thanks for your support.

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Ali Hall's avatar

You are absolutely fully dimensional and have expanded into the world around you. Love this and many thanks for the mention. :-) I remember leaving that comment.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Ali, I'm so glad our writing journeys have connected! Thanks for being such a good friend on this path, whatever directions we take now. Sending you a big hug.

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Ali Hall's avatar

I so wish I could give you a big hug! I appreciate you!

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Gracie's avatar

Oh so well expressed and honest too. I don't think until we meet our shadow and feel it's energy that much progress can be made spiritually. I am very familar with the Kali in me. Love her power when I set a firm no. It took me years to find her too.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Gracie, This is so inspiring to hear! Thanks for sharing your experience of gaining your strength with us.

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Vidya Sury's avatar

Hugs Sandra. I never fail to be amazed at your versatility. Teacher par excellence, wise, and well, you are definitely inspiring. I smiled at the title too and knew a treat awaited me. Thank you for kicking off February in a fabulous way!

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Vidya, your words of appreciation mean so much to me. They are kicking off my February in a fabulous way! I know you are a strong person who would not hesitate to express yourself and I admire that about you.

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Vidya Sury's avatar

So much love to you!

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Charlotte Rains Dixon, MFA's avatar

My first reaction upon seeing this in my inbox was, oooh, Sandra getting bitchy? Must read on. And of course it was worth it. Here's what I see as the core nugget of truth in this wonderful piece: "Life went on. I lost my voice and found my voice many times more." We need to remember that it is indeed possible to find our voice after losing it.

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Sandra Pawula's avatar

Charlotte, I love that the title made you curious. Thanks for sharing the core nugget you found. I hope more women find their most beautiful bitchy selves!

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