Reclaim Your Energy with Nourishing Soft Goals

A gentler way to set intentions without pressure, perfection, or burnout

Photo by Leah Newhouse on Pexels

I didn’t set goals on day one this year. They began to gradually emerge at the end of January. Maybe it’s the same with you. Or maybe you set ambitious goals on January 1st, but life took over, and they’re barely a memory.

Not meeting our goals perfectly can spark self-criticism, self-doubt, and background stress.

But what if we saw goals differently?

I’ve decided that goals can be flexible and fluid. They can be set on any day of the year and reset anytime they no longer serve me or when circumstances change. They can nourish and support my well-being and happiness rather than stress me out or make me feel inadequate.

We don’t have to allow goals to become strict taskmasters, ready to dole out punishment. Instead of feeling disappointed in yourself when you haven’t reached a goal, use that information to shape more appropriate goals or even to take a break for a while.

For a minute, at the beginning of January, I thought I’d declare 2026 my “year of healing” like my “year of letting go” before it.

But after my brain tumor scare, I realized I could do well with less grandiose intentions. My life has been too turbulent in recent months to get overly fixed on non-negotiable goals.

That’s why I’m choosing “soft” goals this year.

What Are “Soft” Goals?

I came up with the idea of “micro goals,” tiny daily steps that might take just one minute or a few, but could make a big difference over time—probably not an original idea.

Then I came across “soft goals,” a concept developed by YouTube creator Beth at Beth and Beyond. This is how Beth describes soft goals:

1. “A flexible, non-rigid personal objective that emphasizes personal progress, emotional well-being, or mindful presence rather than measurable outcomes or performance metrics.”

2. “A goal set without pressure or perfectionism, often used in life design, wellness practices, or creative planning to foster sustainable change and self-compassion.”

No pressure or perfectionism? Sign me up!

Are soft goals limited to self-care? No! Like Beth, you can set a soft goal to move into your new home and gradually turn it into a comforting, supportive space over the next six months, rather than expecting it to be done in a single week.

Last year, I had the wild idea to create four guided-prompt journals to sell on Amazon KDP in the last six months of the year. Pressure was automatically built into the goal because quarter four yields the highest sales for many types of books.

That wasn’t a soft goal. I managed to create two (one in final draft form remains unpublished), but I sacrificed my neck and shoulder in the process and ratcheted up my stress level. Another person might be able to work at that pace, but not me.

A soft goal might be:

• Creating a peaceful evening routine and gradually implementing its different parts over several months.

• Decluttering one drawer at a time

• Starting a weekly digital detox, starting with one hour and gradually expanding

Anyone can benefit from soft goals, since most people tend to push themselves too hard. But soft goals can be especially fitting for people who are:

• Burned out, constantly stressed, or completely overwhelmed

• Living with a chronic illness or disability

• Managing mental health challenges like anxiety, post-traumatic stress, or a mood disorder, among others.

• Neurodivergent living in a neurotypical world

• Over fifty and finding it harder to keep up.

You may not be able to apply soft goals in your 9-5 job when a boss sets the rules. But why not be kind to yourself when setting your personal goals or self-employment goals?

I’m not against big goals if you have the energy, focus, and stamina to achieve them without damaging yourself. And, you may not need soft goals forever. You might just need them for a season of your life when you need space and time to recover and revitalize yourself.

The way we set goals often doesn’t account for the fact that life happens and we’re rarely able to function at 100% every day. Isn’t it wiser to adapt to each season of our life rather than expecting ourselves to always function at peak performance?

Soft goals feel right for me, right now. I’ll share my soft goals with you, in case they might inspire you or give you new ideas.

My Soft Goals

These are some of the soft goals I’ve set, and I intend to approach them in a fluid and flexible way. I’m still healing from neck and shoulder pain and adjusting my diet to address last year’s influx of migraines. In the past, I might have kept pushing myself. But my body won’t allow it now.

Ease Stress and Anxiety

This is where micro-goals come in. I’ve collected a menu of practices for calming the nervous system that can be done in brief intervals—1, 5, or 10 minutes at most.

For example,

• Orienting to the environment—letting my eyes slowly wander and rest wherever they wish, on an item close to me or on the sky outside.

• Grounding—feeling my feet on the floor, my buttocks on the chair, or my back against the couch.

• When I have an anxious thought, reminding myself: “This is just a thought.”

• Practicing 5-7 minutes of “havening,”—stroking my arms with the palms of my hands, gently touching my face, and gliding my palms one over the other.

• Holding my fingers in sequence—a simple Jin Shin Jyustu® practice for harmonizing your emotions, reducing stress, and nourishing your body.

I won’t list my entire menu. I have more techniques I learned in this Therapy In a Nutshell video: Lasting Treatments for Anxiety vs. Coping Skills, which presents a comprehensive list of cognitive, somatic, and behavioral strategies for healing anxiety.

Return to the Essential

After my brain tumor scare, I decided to make this year one of intentional unbuilding—not dismantling my entire life, but gently disassembling the nonessential layers so what truly matters has room again.

On one level, you could call this a version of the KonMari Method decluttering, removing anything that doesn’t spark joy. Or you might consider it a form of Swedish Death Cleaning, a practice of decluttering your belongings before you pass away as a kindness to your loved ones.

But I see it as going deeper than simple decluttering. That’s why I’ve taken to calling it “disassembling my life”—a term similar to the Buddhist concept of dismantling the concept of a self. At least for me, so much fixed identity and attachment keep the non-essentials in place—not just possessions but activities and beliefs as well. So disassembling my life also involves a conscious practice of softening grasping, attachment, and identity.

I don’t mean my entire life, though—just the non-essentials.

I’ve started the process already with my online life by:

• Deleting The Wayward Mystic Substack

• Closing my MailChimp account

• Posting twice a month on my Wild Arisings Substack, instead of six.

I’ll probably let go of my Medium account, the writing platform I used avidly for four years, and close my Always Well Within blog, where I wrote for over a decade.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg. This effort will also extend into my home, my personal accounts, my belongings, and even my beliefs.

But I’ll proceed softly in a way that supports and soothes my nervous system. Hard goals that demand a particular amount be done in a short timeframe will not be on my agenda.

Cultivating Presence

When I say ‘returning to what matters,’ this is what I mean: cultivating presence, not just during morning meditation, but also returning to my true nature throughout the day.

My spiritual goals are exceedingly simple:

• Maintain my daily morning meditation, with the occasional exception, because this is a soft goal.

• Engage in Pema Chödrön’s Pause Practice periodically throughout the day.

The Pause Practice involves just one minute at a time. Learn how to do the Pause Practice in this piece: The Power of a Pause.

Could Soft Goals Work for You?

What do you think? Could soft goals work for you?

Maybe you can’t apply them to every aspect of your life because of external expectations. But perhaps there are areas where you could be a little softer, a little kinder to yourself, with goals that nourish you rather than demand perfection or intense performance.

I would love to hear how you’re approaching goals this year and whether soft goals might be just what you need. Please let me know in the comments.

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Until Next Time

I’ve started physical therapy for my shoulder and neck pain and am celebrating the increased range of motion after two sessions. Slowly, slowly, I’m seeing some improvement.

As always, I’m so grateful for your presence and support. Every ❤️, comment, and share helps my articles reach more people. So please keep them coming, and know how blessed I feel by your presence and generosity.

Until next time, stay safe, be happy, and be kind to yourself. Sending you all my love and best wishes.

xo Sandra

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P.S. Many people think January is the moment to begin. But often, February is when we’re finally honest about what we need. The Buddha Way is a 52-week guided journal you can start whenever the impulse to live more mindfully arises.